Category Archives: Newsletter

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W14 - Get yr shovel

Read it: The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W14 - Get yr shovel

What do you do with all those alternate futures you hold in your head? Nothing. They don't exist. They never existed. They never will exist. Take a shovel. Dig a hole. Put those alternate futures in the hole. Fill the hole with the dirt you dug up. Pat it down. Yes. Good. Your alternate futures didn't exist anyway, but just in case, we buried them in the dirt. Now let's all go do the sensible thing and lift up a bottle of our best Irish whiskey and send those fantasies off to wherever fantasies go when they're no longer needed. Also: tomatoes. The newsletter is 50% tomatoes by volume every week.

Subscribe to it: /captain.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W13 - Acrophobic

Read it: The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W13 - Acrophobic

The hand that stocks the drug stores rules the world. Let us start our Republic, with a chain of drug stores, a chain of grocery stores, a chain of gas chambers, and a national game. After that we can write our Constitution.

—Kurt Vonnegut. Cat's Cradle (1963).

Who's in charge of the pollen around here. You? You? Anyone? Anyway. Someone should take responsibility for this mess. I was digging around in my Box of Drugs—not as interesting as it sounds—looking for some allergy medicine. Nothing. NOTHING. Ugh. I don't know who's in charge of the pollen, but I do know who's in charge of keeping his own allergy medicine stocked. And that guy isn't prepared. Ugh. No matter. We'll survive. We'll survive the best way we know how, by reading the Newsletter.

Subscribe to it: /captain

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W12 - Good enough

Read it: The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W12 - Good enough

Here we are (here I am) taking a big, long breath at the end of a grinding week, at the end of a grinding month, at the end of a grinding quarter. It was a good week, month, quarter, etc. But damn, I think I'm going to find another gear this next quarter. "Find another gear" is typically some kind of sports euphemism for "go faster", but I'm not sure if I'm feeling that right now. I'm looking at that big "N" by the gear shifter and thinking to myself, I wonder what that one does. I probably won't use it*—sometimes just remembering that it's there is comforting enough.

(*Ask me about the time(s) I've passed cars heading down into Death Valley via Towne Pass while in neutral. The ol' gold Pontiac Grand Am weren't called the Coffin on Wheels fer nothin'.)

Subscribe here: /captain. Step right up. Everyone's a winner. Bargains galore.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W11 - The negotiation

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W11 - The negotiation

Let's just survive until the end of this first infernal quarter of 2021. If we make it that far, we can make it as far as we want to go.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W10 - The oneness

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W10 - The oneness

Wherein the author tries to make sense of the world by way of the one, true Boognish. If you don't know what that means, you're either missing out or not missing out, depending on whether or not you would like or not like the thing being referred to that you may or may not know whether you like or not.

That sentence was a mess. A shorter version is: I've met so few people who can tolerate my favorite band, Ween, and though I'd like to recruit you to the club, I also know that you're going to hate it. And that turns out to be, for good or ill, a fairly apt metaphor for how I live my life.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W09 - Stuck in the bucket seat

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W09 - Stuck in the bucket seat

This site is on the verge of becoming a garden blog. Maybe. I don't care. I think my favorite part of turning 40, so far, is how a simple change of number completely stripped away any remaining feelings I had about looking Uncool. That doesn't mean I was confused and thinking that had a shot at not being Uncool, there was just this lingering feeling—a voice, a nudge—that would flare up whenever Uncool things were about to be done. That voice got old and died. RIP, ye olde nag.

Read it. There are some links you might like. None of them are too serious—maybe one. Do what you can to get through the day. Take a nap. Have a shower and a drink, then start a fire in the backyard and throw a printed copy of the newsletter into the fire to propitiate the sky gods—do it before it's too late.

You can subscribe by sending me cash or putting your email in this form, whichever one you think I'd like more. No refunds, no takebacks, no unsubscribes.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W07

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W07 - The duel

As I laying dying one day, I'm going to spend a brief moment thinking about all of the episodes of my life when I wasn't just wasting time—because a moment will probably encapsulate it. The rest of my life is just chasing one squirrel or another. I'm jealous, sometimes, of the people I've met who have achieved Supreme Focus while working on something. It's a beautiful thing. But sometimes I'm not jealous. The asides, the deviations, the sidetracks, the daydreams, the wrong turns, the missed connections, the strikeouts, the bombs, the faceplants, the wide-rights, the bricks, the clanks, the crash landings—that's where all my good ideas come from. Given the choice, I suppose I'd just do things right at the outset, but I've come to grips with being exceedingly good at crawling out of the broken window of a damaged plan and having Better Luck Next Time.

I want you to subscribe to this newsletter as hard as you can: /captain.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W06

It's cold outside. So bundle up by the fire, get yourself a nice warm mug of newsletter, and listen to me complain about the cold outside. Some people will try to tell you that you shouldn't complain. Don't listen to them. These people are just amateur complainers who are jealous of your superior complaining skills. Whine on you crazy griper.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W06 - The forecast for today

Newsletter and chill: /captain.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W05

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W05 - The long run

My mind has been drifting into the future lately—nothing specific, just wondering about what stays, what goes, what survives, what doesn't. Just daydreaming. Thinking about the future can have some pertinent side effects, like making plans to do something, but I find myself just trying to feel the size and the shape of the future. I don't know why. There is no why. The dimensions of the future aren't even useful—the contents are the useful part. We'll try to reel it all back from the future to the present, from abstractions to reality next week. Or not. Maybe we'll just see where the rabbit hole goes.

Subscribe for the long haul: /captain.

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W04

The Captain's Newsletter, 2021-W04 - Momentum

And onward we go. There's a lot of momentum and energy in the world—front, back, up, down, side to side. (Metaphorical momentum and energy as well as physical momentum and energy, I guess, it's just that I wouldn't really have to say anything about both the momentum and energy if we were talking about a physical problem because they're related. Em vee. One half em vee squared.) Anyway. Find yourself a place to grab a wave—to lock into that momentum and energy that's waiting for you—and take it for a ride. Then catch the next one and the next one and the next one—why not?

Keep moving with us: /captain.