Return from Mojave, Day 10

Morrell Falls, Lolo National Forest, MT

Start: 89407 miles

With only a few more days remaining on this trip, I believe the groundwork has been laid to address some of the important questions behind this trip. Through encounters with friends and wild places I have had the opportunity to see within myself. Short story: things are good, but there is ample room to improve myself.

So -- with the waters below me rushing and the ridges beyond shrouded in mystery, I seek the thoughts rushing with my own shrouded wild.

I embarked on this three-week trip to discover both what capabilities I have for creativity and leadership and to find what was blocking their passage from idea to reality. I hoped to do this through time alone in remote, aesthetic locations on my journey home. I believe that I succeeded, but will not declare the journey a victory until I can isolate a plan for knocking down the wall.

My leadership ability draws its uniqueness, its identity, from a few things: my honest desire to work on the lowest tiers (i.e. dirt under nails, not office managing); my agility and "travelability;" my ability to keep multiple tasks going at the same time. My approach has several weaknesses: lack of confidence; worrying about bothering others with requests and followups; strong pushes in the middle of projects with weak finishes; lack of desire to be recognized.

At the onset of this trip, I was seeking a cure for my weaknesses. This was all wrong. This would have treated the symptoms but not the disease. The correct approach is this: identification and concentration. Identify the instances when my behaviors are passive and weak, demonstrative of above-listed traits. Concentrate on what the behavior should be. Do it. Not easy -- but I am capable.

Expenses

Barnes and Noble, $12.90

Gas: Exxon, Big Timber, MT
$21.75, $2.339/gal, 9.298 gal
281.7/89823 miles, 30.30 mpg
Coffee, $0.79

Gas: Cennex, Glendive, MT
$21.30, $2.269/gal, 9.389 gal
296.8/90120 miles, 31.61 mpg
Coffee, $0.75

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.