There’s this exchange in “How to Love Criticism” in WorkLife with Adam Grant, where he’s talking with Ray Dalio—intellectually I love the idea, but in real life… I don’t know.
[10:38 AG] A challenge network can only help you if you’re ready to listen.
[10:42 RD] It’s particularly important for me to be showing anybody what I’m doing, including my failures, my successes. Yes. Why would you not do that?
[10:52 AG] Well, because you’re afraid of the answer.
[10:54 RD] What are you afraid of?
[10:55 AG] Of the emperor being discovered to have no clothes.
[11:00 RD] If your objective is to be as good as you can possibly be, then you’re going to want that.
[11:07 AG] I think a lot of people would rather maintain at least the illusion of a decent image than to actually improve.
[11:13 RD] But then they care more about their image than they care about results.
[11:18 AG] And you’re not willing to tolerate that.
[11:21 RD] You know, life’s much better with good results.
I think, when I’m pretending to be objective, that this is what I want at work. (By the way, if you don’t know who Ray Dalio is, or haven’t seen any of the marketing for his book Principles, there’s going to be a lot of missing context here.) Be a Straight Shooter. No Bull. &c. On the other hand, what has 37 years of being alive confirmed but that my lizard brain really wouldn’t be that interested in radical honesty anywhere.
But it’s that part at the end that still resonates: how could you expect to get the best results if you can’t see yourself as you are, not as your ego wishes you to see how you are in order to avoid the pain of coming up short?