Upstairs, the ISU summer session Life Sciences department is remotely participating in a simulated extravehicular activity (EVA) medical evacuation, i.e., someone's fallen and they can't get up on fake Mars in northern Canada. Down here on the "first floor"—this would be the second floor back home, but I'm trying to convert my brain, and don't get me started about my inability to convert to Celsius accurately—we're talking about space policy in Luxembourg in the Policy and Law department. Shoot me.

Does anyone want to place odds on which is more likely during their lifetime—the Cubs winning the World Series or people walking on and returning from Mars? Trust me: your best bet is that the Cubs are not better than anything, no matter what the bet is...